They had Brokeback Mountain playing on cable tonight, and I tried to catch a few of my favorite scenes while channel-surfing other shows. Although it gets tedious in spots, there is something haunting about that movie that strikes a familiar chord with me. I came out to my Bishop right about the time Brokeback was released, so there's a timing element that's part of it - sort of an anniversary. But I think its the sense of isolation and "quiet desperation" that seems to inflict both main characters that moves me. Its so reminiscent of my darker days when I was struggling to understand who and what I was and how a gay person can find a "fit" in this world, and especially in the Church. I see a lot of my own self denial in these characters.
My favorite line in the whole movie is the very last one. Ennis opens the closet door to put up a sweater and notices the post-card picture of Brokeback Mountain pinned to the inside of the door has gotten crooked. Beside it hangs his most precious keepsake - Jack's old shirt and jacket. He touches up the shirt, straightens the picture up a bit, and with tears welling up in his eyes, whispers, "Jack, I swear..." It makes me cry every time I see that scene.