Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Skinny Made Me Bad

<<< THIS IS PORN, PEOPLE!

OK, If you haven't caught the unbelievable buzz yet about BYU and Skinny Jeans, please click HERE .

Next, I think they should:

1. Ask in Temple Recommend Interviews if you own Skinny Jeans!
2. Add an 11th Commandment - Thou shalt not wear Skinny Jeans before ME!
3. Issue a new 'Proclamation On The Skinny Jean'.
4. Pen a new Primary Song called "Pioneer Children Did Not Wear Skinny Jeans".
5. Ban football, because after all, you can see their ass through those tight-fitting uniforms!
6. Ban basketball. Its those silky shorts  - might show someone's 'package'.
7. Ban soccer, because after all, you can see bulges through those shorts too!
8. Ban rugby, because its - well, its almost like watching porn! (Dieux du Stade)
9. Require all female students to hide their bodies in used refrigerator boxes mounted on roller-skates (for mobility) with eye-holes cut out, since sight of the female body might actually cause a man to have an impure thought!
10. Ban gay people from BYU entirely, because we dared to notice that all the fluff about Skinny Jeans was a slap in the face to women by a bunch of male chauvinists with a double-standard! (and also because we pointed out the bit about bulges!)

8 comments:

INSIDE said...

FYI the BYU-I corrected the Testing Centers incorrect policy. Skinny jeans are NOT banned.

Neal said...

Yes, but instead they put up a sign that said "go home and pray about whether the clothing you wear is inappropriate", and the manager said that if you didn't get an answer that Skinny Jeans were evil, then you basically didn't have the Spirit.

INSIDE said...

Yes and that person is an idiot. But they did not do it on behalf of the school. And the school corrected them.

Neal said...

The sign about praying over your couture remains. The idiots prevail...

Mr. B. said...

I am so glad they didn't say anything about my speedo ...

Neal said...

Mr. B,

Didn't you know that swim wear is exempt? Yep, Speedos are modest, as long as a swimmer wears them. However, if a politician wears them they may be subject to public fines or even execution.

Lance said...

Hahaha! Great post. I need to go buy some skinny jeans. :)

Nhil said...

Wow, that was harsh.

But oh well, I still believe the church is true. lol!